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Monday, January 31, 2011


                                                          Here Otakus showing their best

Otaku is the name given to people who are loyal followers of the almost-religion that is Anime nowadays. They do their best to follow the examples set upon them by the characters of their favorite series and like Catholicism emulate them like can be seen in the picture above...just imagine theyre all saints...

Requirements for being an Otaku:
-Having internet first of all, you cannot call yourself an Otaku by waiting to watch an episode a day of the censored and sometimes crap versions that Cartoon Network airs...
-Having the dedication to watching a single anime episode after episode for a whole day, basically watching anime 27/9
-Next is of course to meet more of your otaku comrades, whereas its in person, through MSN chat or simply in a forum about how to draw anime you need your loyal japan-addicted companions.
-Having no life
-Threaten people in a thoroughly japanese way such as "Ill write you in my death note", "Ka-Me-Ha-Me-HAAAAA!!!!", "This is my....Bankai!" or just be gentle and insult them in japanese, something theyll never understand but still will get angry at you.
-Admit that the only way youll ever marry is with either another otaku of your level or going to Japan and marrying a japanese girl/boy/robot or whatever dominates Japan by that time.
-Did I mention having no life?
-Having a fantasy of Japan crowded with magical people, huge monsters and everybody carrying a sword with them which isnt really much different from what it really is...
-Be willing to spend months of preparation to make a cosplay worthy of your character that youll only wear once in your life for a convention.
-No wont have any life...
-Knowing lots of phrases in japanese, and greeting people with names they will never understand like "Thingy-san" and "Panchito-kun"

The 10 Commandments of Otakus:
1) You shall not take the name of Goku in vain, doing so will earn you a Kamehameha multiplied by 10 shot at you...quiet direct warning I think...
2) You shall not watch the fillers of Naruto...
3) You shall try to convert into a Super Saiyan at least thrice in your teenage years
4) You shall throw a rock at your dog trying to catch it in a pokeball
5) You shall destroy whoever says "You spend all your time watching Chinese cartoons, kicking them where it hurts the most and shouting "Theyre Japanese you baka!!"
6) You will not see porn...ehem...youll watch Hentai
7) You will not finish a phrase in MSN without including a respective ending emote like ^^, ^-^, XD, o.o, -.-, ^^, x3, u_u, n.n, etc) 
8) You shall not see cartoons that arent Anime
9) You shall have a death note and write the names of all the non-otakus that annoy you in it muahahaha
10) YOU SHALL NOT insult Japan or any of its cities.

Levels of Otakuness:

Like in every major culture in the world even us otakus have a hierarchy in which we obey our superiors and are respected by our subordinates. Although there are many variants of each class lets include the major ones in here.

1) Freak- They only know one or two anime that they have seen aired in Cartoon Network or such, sometimes they are invited to Otaku conversations about that particular anime they know about with the result of them being totally confused and excluded once the topic changes to another anime.

2) Low Otaku- Has watched some of the classic animes...he knows a little about everything and can sometimes form part of an otaku group but his only function is to buy the others food or help them dress in cosplay...

3) Medium Otaku- Has watched almost all the classic animes and following some of the current animes as well as manga. Has made one or two AMVs(Anime Music Videos) and attended a convention.

4) High Otaku- Has seen and burnt large quantities of anime on CD and DVD, he has participated in some forums of anime and has memorized at least a pair of manga by now.

5) Akiba Kei- He has read every manga of every anime he has ever seen and has memorized by heart almost every detail concerning them. He is the creator of a forum, a fansub or a website about anime and has already started creating a doujin(personally-made manga (----------MYSELF HERE

6) Otaking- Has every single anime and manga he has ever laid eyes on in their original DVDs and books, knows japanese, has published his manga already and he has memorized every existing anime and manga with ease. So rare thought to be almost extinct(for obvious reasons dont you think...)

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